Thursday, June 15, 2006


We haven't had one of these in a while, right?

You're in a bad mood. The weather sucks (rain all day). You live in an anonymous city, and have few friends there. You've just left the office: your job is moderately soul-crushing. You can't bear the idea of sitting in traffic to get back to your cookie-cutter suburban townhouse, where you will probably eat some sort of frozen dinner (not from Trader Joe's) that merely adds to your already hardened and clogging arteries.

While walking to your parking garage, you see a rather inviting bar, and decide to stop in for one drink. The bar is large yet cozy, with big windows that look out onto the street. It doesn't get busy until later in the evening, so is fairly empty. You sidle up to the bar and wait for the bartender to turn around from the cash register, walk down the length of the bar, and ask you what you want.

In a perfect world with all the aforementioned conditions, who would that bartender be to make you feel better? Famous person, character, etc.


Blogger MMW said...

My answer would be Karen Allen's character from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Or Beverly D'Angelo playing Patsy Cline in Coal Miner's Daughter.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Eamon de Valera

3:53 PM  
Blogger SC said...


4:44 PM  
Blogger sandis said...

Cookie Monster.

5:42 PM  
Blogger suebell said...

Commander Adama.

7:13 PM  
Blogger schoboats said...

Richard Marius.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Jack said...


7:34 AM  
Blogger mattpod said...

Roger Lodge

7:59 AM  
Blogger zachkay said...

Peter Limm in Crang's body machine.

8:12 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

The bartender sort of has his back to me for a while, because he's washing glasses or something, and we're making small talk and stuff, and he leaves my White Russian on the bar. Then I get to, like, some big point in my story or whatever, and the bartender goes like, "Tell me about it," except he says something way more badass, and he turns around, and it's me. Except, he looks just like me, except he has a nice outfit and an apron on, and his eyes are totally black. And he sees me start, and he goes, "What's the matter, Jack? You look surprised." And I'm like, "Whaaa?" And then like we fight or he tells me something crazy about like God and the Devil or I run out or something like that. Anyways, that would be pretty awesome.

8:54 AM  
Blogger Murbles said...

Black-eyed Fake Jack.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

"What's the matter, Murbles? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

9:48 AM  
Blogger SC said...

Colleen Dewhurst

10:33 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

Black-eyed Fake √Čamon de Valera

10:47 AM  
Blogger conrad said...

Am I too late? Michael Caine.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

To be honest, probably Cookie Monster. I would be incredibly reassured and soothed to spend some rainy day QT with Cookie Monster.

3:18 PM  
Blogger MMW said...

Brendan Reed? Anybody?

6:35 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Nope, nobody wants to see Reed tending bar.

8:09 PM  
Blogger MMW said...

Yeah, you'd order some Calvados and he'd be all like "Muljack?"

6:39 AM  

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