What I Imagine: JEH Fan Fic

Those of you who work with him might have a better idea, but I assume I have rendered an accurate description of how JEH eats and lives.

Breakfast:
1 Bowl of Cheerios
Sausage and eggs
2 roasted chickens
2 glasses milk

Snack:
Pear from a pear tree at the top of a mountain which I scaled with no harness.

Lunch:
Bear meat sandwich (bear came at me, initially tried resolve things nonviolently, ultimately had to wrestle it to death)
Gatorade

Snack:
Took three local kids out to ice cream after I rescued them from a burning building, no fire suit.

Happy Hour:
Whiskey with the Mayor, who took me out to thank me for the time I caught a bunch of terrorists.

Dinner with Family:
Mom's pot roast
Mashed potatoes with gravy
Green beans
Apple pie a la mode

Out with buds:
50 beers, no hangover