Sunday, June 18, 2006

News Notes

Guess whose refrigerator is broken? Hint: he is very angry and is going to starve to death. Bonus hint: he went grocery shopping today.


Blogger Jack said...

Me! My refrigerator broke! This is starting to become a nuisance!

Here's my Q&A sitdown with God.

Q: God, why do you keep breaking my refrigerator?
A: I don't know, Jack, maybe it's because you suck.
Q: Maybe you suck.
A: Hmm, let's see... no.
Q: Maybe you keep breaking my refrigerator because you need a new hobby, a better one than breaking my refrigerator, and also waiting to do it until I do my grocery shopping.
A: Maybe you should stop buying your groceries on Sunday, you little bum, and go to Church once in a while, how about that?
Q: Is that it? You break my refrigerator under some kind of contract from my Mom to make me get confirmed? Is that what this is about? You know that the net effect of this is making me eat less meat and fresh produce and more processed starches, right?
A: You know, you get really whiny. You get really whiny about just any little damn thing that doesn't go your way.
Q: Have you ever considered making people less whiny if it bugs you so much? Or making refrigerators that work?
A: You know what? This interview is over.

In conclusion, God may or may not be the agency responsible for breaking my refrigerator. I'm going to deal with this by defrosting my freezer again and checking the door seals and dusting the condenser coils (again) but I think next time I'm just going to cry and throw all the eggs at the wall and cut off all my hair with the kitchen shears.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

2007-10-6 - Again, thanks, everyone, for all your sympathy over my ongoing problems with my refrigerator.

6:46 AM  

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