Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Guest Post, Sunday, 6/4

This is a post from my turtle, Mike Belmont.

Whoa, shit, banner day for me folks. I started off the day not eating anything for a really long time, because no one feeds me until 7 or 8 at night. You probably remember when I didn't eat anything for five weeks about seven months ago, so it's pretty unclear if I am really hungry all the time or overfed. Either way, I like to just take it as it comes.

At around 8pm I got a bunch of those pink turtle pellets. By different accounts, I should either be eating only 2 or 3 of these pellets a night, or around 50 a night. This night i got about 13 pellets. Sometimes I only get about 6 or 7 pellets, but that's when I know to really turn on the waterworks and smash my body against the glass on my tank until that huge pink naked thing that is always masturbating gives in and drops more pellets in the water.

Seriously, I'm being starved to death.

Anyway, at like 9:30 pm I had some lettuce from a grilled chicken sandwich from Odessa. Some of the lettuce had pepper on it which is A-Okay by me. This lettuce was supplemented by some seriously rancid lettuce from God-knows-where. I ate that too.

Lights out friends.

Oh wait, I almost forgot. When no one was looking I ate an entire rock from my tank and two days later I shat out an entire rock. I am really hungry all the time.

Peace, for reals this time.


Blogger Junior said...

Mike, when was the last time you ate an entire, full-size candy bar?

1:42 PM  

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