Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Schobateaux: quelques remarques au sujet de poutine

I awoke last night at 3:01 AM to the sound of my phone ringing, and had this thought: “3:01 AM? I wonder if it is SC again, calling to regale me with more very loosely paraphrased quotations from Cormac McCarthy.” It was SC, but instead of drink-obliterated literary philosophy, he merely mumbled a brief message about my returning to the warm embrace of communal food diarizing. Thus, a few remarks about poutine, derived from last weekend’s trip to Quebec on which it was generously consumed.

1. Apparently, it’s pronounced more like poo-TSIN than poo-TEEN. I will not adopt this pronunciation.
2. At Quebecois McDonalds (much like the erstwhile practice of Super-Sizing) you can spend a few cents to convert regular fries to poutine.
3. Disco fries, though excellent in their own way, do not hold a candle to a good or even mediocre poutine. Cheese curds make a much better dish than regular cheese, or cheese sauce, or cheez. Superior flavor, plus they squeak when you chew ‘em.
4. There are many terrifying variations. Galvaude arrives topped with canned peas. Doulton will get you ground beef. At Chez Ashton (a popular poutine-and-sandwich chain), I saw a dude get a Doulton with additional sausage. Yum?
5. Chez Ashton has an amusing reverse-Starbucks sizing policy. The smallest size of poutine is baby. The medium is called mini. The largest size is called regular.
6. They are perhaps the ultimate drunk food, as testified to by a Labatt billboard we saw that (approximately) read “Labatt: resulting in 3:15 AM poutines since 1964.” I believe this is perhaps the only alcohol ad I have ever seen that acknowledges getting effed up as a goal of drinking.

And one last bit of wisdom, unfortunately derived from personal experience:

7. Though delicious, poutine is not an ideal meal before an extensive and physically demanding bicycle ride.

Quebec is an excellent excursion, dining and otherwise. I got to eat some raw milk cheese without the USDA up in my grill. I ate beef, pork, stag, caribou and wapiti all within a single dish. And they love putting maple syrup in everything, which is fine by me. Also, Archie comics in French achieve a beautiful aspect of poetry.


Blogger Jack said...

Weirdly, poteen (spellings vary), the Irish moonshine, is evidently pronounced puh-CHEEN. Does anyone have any similar knowledge regarding Vladimir Putin or the golfin' practice of puttin'?

5:09 PM  
Blogger SC said...

Sorry to have bothered you Schoboats, but very pleased with the results.

5:11 PM  
Blogger schoboats said...


Per wikipedia:
"It is purely coincidental that the name of the current President of Russia is written and pronounced 'Vladimir Poutine' in French."

Good to know.

No need to apologize. Not bothered at all. Come morning, I wasn't even sure it had happened.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

For those keeping score, I ought to have written "poitín" like a good little Irish boy.

7:39 PM  
Blogger SC said...

What brought you to Montreal? Did you get out into the countryside at all?

9:33 PM  
Blogger mattpod said...

What about this?: "Bacardi and cola, they get the job done."

9:44 PM  

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